How to be a basic bitch
Are you sick of trying to be something that you’re, well, just not? Are you tired of hiding your true self? Not living your life how you really want to? Well, babe, I’m not sure if you knew this already but its mother-lashing 2018. The year of the girl. The year of you. Why should we be forced to live according to rules and opinions in society? Fuck the judgers. Fuck the haters. Just be you babe, coz seriously, being a basic bitch is, well, basically the best thing you could ever be.
Unsure on how to turn your life back into a simplistic world of pink and fluffy things? Where sex can get you pregnant and make you die? Where you have to stop dead in your tracks for a mini photoshoot when you come across some good lighting? Babe, it’s not all that hard, and of course we’re here to help you out. Here’s the top three rules that are just as important as Dua’s, to making sure no fake ass hoe is going to spoil your vibes. From now on lets just live your little life just being, well, your little happy self.
RULE ONE- Let’s Get Mean
The number one rule of being a basic bitch is of course the holy bible of basic bitches… Mean Girls. If you don’t wear pink every Wednesday and watch the movie without quoting at least half of it then boo you whore! You got some serious training to do. Get ya’ pjarmies on, the box of chocolates out and this classic playing to get some top inspo on how to live life not giving a flying ‘f’.
RULE TWO- Selfie Queen
Whether it be the fitting room, the bathroom mirror or that random streak of good
lighting in the car, make sure you cram as many selfies in as you can gal. The top tip of being a basic bitch is to love what yo’ mama gave ya’, so be proud of who you are no matter what shape or size, and flaunt it as much as you can. Take as many selfies as you want and post as many as you want coz seriously gal, we ain’t no princesses, us bitches are queens.
RULE THREE- Wine And Caffeine
Now, are you even a basic bitch if you don’t start your day with a Starbucks and end with a glass (or bottle) of wine. Spread your basic bitch love with a mocha a day, and what even is life without a cheeseboard and a glass of red on an evening? Live life to the full bitch, and fuel your body with what it really needs.
Now this ain’t no law, you live how you wanna live girl, but this is sure as hell a good way to start living life how you want to, and enjoying the good the good things in life (unicorns, pink, wine, girlfriends and bed to name a few).
HAPPY BITCHING!
